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How to talk to children about Juneteenth

Alaina Roberts

From the archives

June 19, or Juneteenth, is a holiday that commemorates the day that Texas, the last Confederate state, learned about the Emancipation Proclamation 鈥 marking the end of slavery in the United States in 1865.听

But as 51精品视频 historian Alaina Roberts notes, it鈥檚 important to remember that the emancipation of slaves didn鈥檛 actually happen in one fell swoop.

鈥淛uneteenth is a reminder that emancipation was not one moment in time: the news about the Emancipation Proclamation (which outlawed slavery within Confederate states) and the Thirteenth Amendment (which abolished slavery throughout the country) came to African Americans in different parts of the United States at different times,鈥 said Roberts, assistant professor in 51精品视频鈥檚听听in the听.听

How can we talk about Juneteenth and race with our children? To help, 51精品视频wire sat down with Aisha White, director听of the P.R.I.D.E. Program听() in the School of Education鈥檚 Office of Child Development. The goal of the P.R.I.D.E Program is to help young Black children develop a positive racial identity by supporting teachers, parents and other caregivers by providing resources that听build their racial knowledge and skills.

How can we talk about Juneteenth to children?

You might not want to explain Juneteenth to kids if you don鈥檛 want to explain slavery to them. It may be too scary a topic for kids that aren鈥檛 old enough 鈥 and while children鈥檚 ability to understand and manage that kind of information varies, it鈥檚 safer to not start until they鈥檙e closer to 6 or 7 years old. However, if children who are younger raise the issue, there are ways to explain it to them that won鈥檛 cause anxiety.

I like to reference a TED Talk by author and scholar Beverly Daniel Tatum called听听The way she explained it to her son (who asked the question that became the title of her talk) was: A long time ago, before there were companies, stores and buildings, there were some people who needed to work the land in the United States. There was a need for smart, strong workers 鈥 and they went to Africa and brought them to the United States against their will which wasn鈥檛 OK. They were people, but they were called slaves. Those people made them work, but never paid them and they were never allowed to leave the plantations where they worked; it was very unfair. But there were also good people who were working to end slavery, Black and white people, and they were eventually successful.

Of course, this is an abbreviated version and you may need to add many more details, but you will have at least covered many of the main issues.听

Once you get to the part of the story where you鈥檙e explaining Juneteenth, you can tell children that during that time there were no things like TV or phones to communicate; information was written in letters and carried from one place to another on horses. Not everyone got the news at the same time that slavery had ended, so it took two years for people to find out about it in Texas. But on June 19, people in that state did learn about it.听

Should this story be told in a different way to a Black child than it would to a white child?

The story I described can be told to anyone. However, a white family might need to explain more explicitly that it was white people who enslaved Black people. White families should also make sure to describe how there were many white people who were allies in the struggle who helped to abolish slavery. And, it鈥檚 also important for white families to be prepared to answer questions if their children ask why white people enslaved Black people.听

Why is it important to talk about Juneteenth?听

Juneteenth gave people freedom but it also gave them hope, something they had been longing for for a long time. Telling this particular story offers an opportunity for kids to know how important it was for people who had been treated so badly for so long to begin to experience听a whole new way of life 鈥 to be truly free 鈥 and that鈥檚 always something to celebrate.

If we don鈥檛 talk to our kids, they听often make their own sense of听things on their own.听

Aisha White

How early should families be talking about race with children?

This doesn鈥檛 differ between white and Black families. One way to introduce the conversation is by reading picture books. They鈥檙e an easy and obvious way to introduce kids to people who don鈥檛 look like them. Children need to have these conversations because they are seeing what we refer to as racial differences early. By the time a child is 3 months old, they can already听notice someone whose skin color is different from their primary caregivers, just by looking at faces. They look longer at the face of someone whose skin color looks like their primary caregiver at that age. But at 6 months, they spend a longer amount of time looking at someone whose face is different from them, for example someone who is darker than their primary caregiver.听听

As they grow and develop, kids are taking in all the information they get from everywhere in the world, including watching television, being engaged in local activities, the covers of magazines at the grocery story. They can put two and two together, but they don鈥檛 always end up with four. If we don鈥檛 talk to our kids, they听often make their own sense of听things on their own.听

How might conversations about race look different for Black families and white families?

Black families should be consistently providing uplifting information for children. In the literature, it鈥檚 called racial socialization: helping kids feel good about themselves as individuals, including their facial features and hair texture. It鈥檚 important they understand they鈥檙e part of a larger group of people who are part of their race and feel good about that, about the things those people created and the history of those people. The messages are more protective and can serve as a preventive measure that interrupts the process of them internalizing negative attitudes about themselves they can develop as a result of living in a racialized society.

For white families, it鈥檚 important to do work that interrupts white children developing a false sense of racial superiority. Parents should be stifling the idea of racial superiority 鈥 and emphasizing that goodness, smartness or kindness is not assigned to a certain race of people.听

What should parents be mindful of while teaching their kids about race and racism?听

If a parent chooses not to talk about race with their kids, they should know that they鈥檙e actually taking an action 鈥 being听silent is taking action, just the wrong kind. When a child says something that may be racially unacceptable, parents should treat it like any other conversation that they may have with children and not react in ways that are extreme. They should not shush children when they ask questions. The conversation听should be natural and comfortable so that children feel free to ask questions听and sometimes make mistakes. Children will easily pick up if you鈥檙e uncomfortable during these conversations, so it鈥檚 better to be sure you鈥檙e ready to have them rather than jump into them unprepared. Parents should talk with other adults about race and racial issues in order to feel comfortable and well prepared to have those conversations with their children.听

What is the most important thing a parent can be doing right now during this moment in history?听

Conversations are important. People may not think they鈥檙e significant, but the absence of conversation is doing a whole lot of harm. Their child might have lots of questions they don鈥檛 know how to ask. If you open up the dialogue, you鈥檒l be more likely to know more about what they鈥檝e seen, what they鈥檙e thinking about, what they鈥檙e wondering about.听

For example, their child may be extremely afraid of what they鈥檙e seeing on the news. Even for parents who are very careful about what their children watch, they might come into the living room when you don鈥檛 expect it. And they can still have concerns even if they鈥檝e heard about these things secondhand. If you don鈥檛 have a conversation with them, they may be scared to death.

Parents might want to open up the conversation by saying to their child: 鈥淲e鈥檝e never talked about this before, but I think now we need to as a family. There are lots of things happening with people protesting here in our city and in the country and I really would like听to know what you鈥檙e thinking or wondering about what鈥檚 going on.鈥 Once they tell you, then, as a parent, you can help fill in the gaps, answer their questions and assure them that if they鈥檙e worried or afraid, you鈥檒l help keep them as safe as possible.听

This story has been updated.